Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Not Quite the End

A LOT can happen in two months!  I'm hardly the same person I was, even when I posted my most recent post on this blog!

I'm still debating what to do, and I need to pray on it, so this blog entry will be brief.

Let me just say that it's now, in 2018, that I feel that I have a greater understanding and appreciation for the true Catholic faith and the true reality of things (as opposed to what I believe based on logical extrapolations, which have steered me wrong before) than I've ever had in my life.  As it's been in the past, it's been humbling--but also liberating!--to admit how wrong I was.

Part of me has wanted to go into detail here, to show that I can admit to my wrongness, and to show where and how I was wrong, and what I know now to the contrary.  But another part of me has wanted (if I continue to blog at all), to start a brand-new blog--and even if I do this, I don't know if I'm ready just yet.  And that's if I continue to blog at all, which I'm not sure if I want to.

(Also, while I may at some point decide to return to my Zoa mythos and/or my other original writings, I have no immediate plans to do so at this time.  They've been more of an obstacle to me than a help, at least in and of themselves.)

Let me just say this: even more now than in 2017, I am appreciating how far to the opposite extreme (the hypocritical "traditionalist" extreme) of the false dichotomy (the one I've discussed on this blog in the past) I had really gone, even after my decision to stop prognosticating, which was over a year ago now.

I have a better appreciation for the Second Vatican Council and for the Vatican II popes, especially Pope Saint John Paul II, and their place in salvation history--completely consistent with the Catholic faith as it has existed from the beginning.

And I am now rejecting entirely the apocalyptic future events I was fearing even after I decided to stop prognosticating.  Since March 25, 1984, the world has been consecrated to the Immaculate Heart of Mary--and since April 30, 2000, the world has been entrusted to God's Divine Mercy.

While we still have a way to go, obviously, and while those willful, stubborn enemies of Christ will go down fighting--and cause a lot of damage on the way--I am no longer so afraid of anything as apocalyptic as I've been claiming on this thread in the past.  I don't know for sure, but I don't need to know, only to trust to God's Divine Mercy and to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

And if I were to venture a guess, my guess at this time (only a guess, granted) would be that the Golden Age of the Church will NOT come after a World War III or Three Days of Darkness.  Rather, I suspect it will be more akin to the Christianization of the Roman Empire, which did not come after anything so apocalyptic, even on the regional level.  The worst that happened just before the Christianization of the Roman Empire was the persecutions of the Church under the Emperor Diocletian--and there may well be something like that on a larger, more international scale in the near future, but I imagine it will only last for years at most (I don't even think it will last multiple decades).

At any rate, we faithful should see such a thing for what it is: the monster becoming more dangerous because it knows it's dying and it's desperate to prevent that, though its efforts are all in vain.  We can hope for God's mercy and we should show mercy to our enemies--it's up to them whether they accept it or not.

But don't listen to me: listen to God, and to Mary.

In particular, I highly recommend a book that I've just finished reading last week: The Second Greatest Story Ever Told by Father Michael E. Gaitley, MIC.

I could hardly put it down!  It wasn't merely informative or entertaining, but inspirational!  Better still, it's short (a couple hundred pages, 10 chapters)--and it's very easy to read.  But it packs so much that it feels like it's a lot longer--in a good way!

And now I plan to read another book of his: 33 Days to Morning Glory.  (I don't have it yet and haven't read it or gone through the 33-day consecration yet, which is part of the reason I'm not going into more detail here.)

Even before getting and reading this book (thanks, Eric!), I have come to the conclusion that I feel a strong calling to the Franciscan Order, even though my patron saint Thomas Aquinas is a Dominican.  I think that's just fine: in Dante's Paradiso, Saint Thomas Aquinas recounts the life of Saint Francis of Assisi, while Saint Bonaventure (a Franciscan) recounts the life of Saint Dominic de Guzman--the point being that there is no disunity in heaven as, unfortunately, there is on earth (even between Franciscans and Dominicans).

Thinking about the Franciscan charism and the life of Saint Francis (which I've known about since my CCD classes as a kid) has made sense out of my life in particular, as an individual, from my earliest memories until now--the missing piece of the puzzle that connects everything--more so than anything I've ever been interested in before.  That being the case, I plan to start meeting with my local community of Secular Franciscans as part of my new years' resolution.  (Again, I haven't done so yet, another part of the reason I'm not going into more detail here.)

I will conclude this blog entry by mentioning one connection between these two matters: Saint Maximilian Mary Kolbe, OFM Conv., who is known as the "Apostle of Consecration to Mary".  My friend Eric sent me a medal of Saint Maximilian Kolbe (thanks, Eric!) years ago, because he is the patron saint of addiction recovery, and while I haven't been addicted to any substances (thank God!), any kind of obsession or compulsion counts as an addiction in my book, and I've definitely been the victim of those, including sinful ones--even after I returned to the Church and the faith.

Saint Maximilian Kolbe was a Polish saint who died in Auschwitz in 1941, and he was a Conventual Franciscan.  He was also so devoted to Mary that he took her name: "Maximilian Mary Kolbe".  And he founded the Militia Immaculatae, and has given us a consecration prayer to Mary--and he also gave us an addition to the Miraculous Medal prayer.

Thank you very much for being with me.  God bless you.

Sunday, November 5, 2017


I have been thinking this over, and all the signs are pointing to this being a good idea for me.

Beginning this Tuesday, November 7, I plan to undergo a ritual fast for 40 days--the 40 days before Christmas Day (not including Sundays or December 8, the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary).

I intend to fast not only from food but also from frivolous things--like this blog.  Therefore, I will not be adding to the blog during that time.  But since the last day of my fast will be on December 23 (leaving only eight days left in the year 2017), I figure I might as well end this blog entirely.

I know this isn't the first time I've thought I would end my blog entirely, but I think that this time I'm going to really make it stick.  To that end, I plan to delete my blog entries tomorrow as I can, so that I can spend as little time as possible doing it during my fast.

Also during the fast I will be praying for respect for life and marriage, chastity, children, the family, and travelers, and the poor and needy, and workers--and in anticipation of the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, whenever that is (and for when I have to account for my deeds in this life to Him, which may be sooner than that)--all things appropriate to the time before the Nativity of Our Lord.

And I will be getting rid of things that I don't use or need anymore, and intend to donate to help the poor and needy.

It seems like a perfect time, because this fast will include November 28, the 7-year anniversary of the day I came back to regular Mass after so many years of being away from Christ and His Church.  And the number 7 is a number of completion (seven days in a week, for example: six days of creation and the seventh day of rest).

This will also capstone this year being a major year of faith for me, since it was only at the end of last year that I realized I had been going to the opposite side of a false dichotomy from where I had been before I returned to the Church.  That is, I regarded the faith too philosophically, too much with my mind alone--not personally enough, not with true love, not even though I had rejected my beliefs that were incompatible with the faith and embraced beliefs that were rooted in the Catholic faith.  This will be a great way to start the new year, AD 2018.

Again, while I will not fast on Sundays or on a Solemnity, I will not post on this blog on those days either.  I will also not post on Christmas Eve, or on Christmas Day--and so, early though it is, I want to sign off with one last Merry Christmas!

Thank you for staying with my blog for as long as you have.  God bless and be with you all, always.

Goodbye now.